top of page

Creating Ideal Relationships

Updated: Dec 12, 2021

So the Holidays are upon us, and family relationships are at the fore. The beautiful family Holiday cards hide the family dynamics and we all know that often there is tension, and unique issues between family members despite the love. The Course In Miracles tells us that family members are "life long assignments" meaning that the lessons we have to learn from them keep coming and there is no escaping them until the lesson is done. So how do you be done with this? You can divorce your spouse but you can't do the same to your mother, or your sister. Even when you cut ties you are still plagued by the hurt, the bitterness, and the wounding you feel. Being away from them doesn't heal the pain. So how do we heal the pain, heal the relationship, even if we are not on speaking terms right now, or the issue is too sensitive to talk about and it really won't help to talk anyway? Well, we send love for 30 days to that family member. I have done this practice and can attest to its immense transformative power. So I am sharing this powerful key to your emotional freedom with you now, because sometimes the best way to solve a problem is to stop participating in the problem.

First of all know that you do not need to talk to them, or try to rationalize, or resolve, the hurt as we all know that won't work. The Course says all minds are joined and when we change our perceptions about another, this in turn changes their perception of us. This is the key to how this works-all minds are joined. The most powerful tools are always the simplest! As a Reiki Master, this is also how we send healing energy. Intention is everything. Despite using this often with great feedback in reiki, but always to people I had no issue with and wanted to help, I felt at a deep level great resistance to the idea that the person I had in mind would even respond to this at all. I didn't think they would budge with energy work. I somehow felt the issue was "too big" for this, it had been a major part of my life for 50 year already after all. I felt my resentment ran too deep, and my hurt was too much to let them off lightly in this way anyway. I felt I needed to be "right" first then only could I forgive them. They needed to apologize first. We all know that was not going to happen. The Course also says you can be "right" or, you can have a miracle, not both. I guess I wanted a miracle so I gave it a shot out of desperation. Miraculousy (yes!) in about ten days the whole situation shifted and all the pain and hurt left the relationship. I have come to understand the relationship in a much more profound, and truly surprising way. After all I have literally know this person all my life I didn't think anything new could be revealed to me. I've since had dreams about what the relationship means in spiritual terms and how important I am to this person. Before I felt like the victim and now I see I am 'home' to them. I feel compassionate towards them and I feel I am being treated respectfully, compassionately and kindly back. This is all a major shift, and entirely new experience in this relationship, and truly a huge relief after so long.

So here goes, this is how you make these shifts in your own life. It is super simple.

Sit quietly each morning for 1 minute at first, and throughout the day if you have time. To start, 1 minute will do and then work up to a few minutes over the month.  

Think of the person you would like a better relationship with, and radiate pure LOVE to them. Yes, pure love, despite all they have said and done. You may immediately think thoughts like they don't deserve this, or I actually don't love them, or why should I send them love when they said xyz just last week, why is it always me trying to fix things and not them for once? Listen to those thoughts,  and let them go like clouds passing in the sky, you can take note of them later and write them in your journal but for now go back to the LOVE. Radiate LOVE to them. 

This love energy between you will shift the energy between you, and allow forgiveness to happen, and that will set you both free. Love truly heals all. 

Still finding it hard? Find someone you love easily and radiate love to them. Feel the difference? That was super easy right? Or, think of your pet at their most adorable moment, and how you love them, feel that warmth in your chest area, that love and adoration you have for them, now go back quickly to the family member and think of them and try to radiate that same warmth to them. It takes practice and at first there are real energetic barriers, so be patient, be kind to yourself, and do this repeatedly for just a few moments, then one minute at first, if you can, and keep at it every day Building up the length of time. It may take a few days or weeks before you feel you can even send a single moment of LOVE to them but this is a huge victory to be celebrated. Congratulate yourself, truly, this is HUGE. You have broken through the barriers. Yay. You have broken something that has hurt you for decades, years, months.

Now you can slowly extend it for as long as you can, up to ten minutes a day. At the end of 30 days, often long before 30 days, they will come to see you differently even if words aren't shared, because all minds are joined. They won't know what you have done but they will feel differently because love heals all things. They may email, text or call or something else unexpected will happen to show you that they have shifted. And, more importantly, you will have a deeper compassion for them, and for yourself as well as an understanding of how you got here. There will be an overall shift in the relationship, ranging from a full healing of the pain between you, and a coming together, to a healing, a forgiveness and a letting go, a gentle moving apart with love. Either direction is divinely perfect and you will be happy to let it happen. This love energy between you will shift the energy between you, and allow forgiveness to happen, and that will set you both free. Love truly heals all.

I can't say enough good things about this very simple practise. It has transformed my life. Best of all you do not need to talk about issues, you can simply sit quietly at home and shift the energy. So, this is my "Miracle-Minded_blog" gift to you now as we enter the Holiday season. May this season bring you true joy, connection and healing of the old wounds.

Change your thoughts to love, and change your Life.

35 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page